I was never able to say goodbye to the USA. Iftikhar finally made it to San Francisco and the Bay Area in April 2008. It was a miracle. He attended my graduation in May and I was able to finally accept and start a great job at Intel Corporation in Portland, Oregon. Life is good now. Both of us are settling down and discovering how wonderful it is to be in each other's company. I still miss my home in Canada but at least my partner in life is beside me.
God is merciful and beneficient. The two-year separation has shown me the value of my friends and my family. They were able to help me deal with the difficult time. I have also learnt to appreciate every moment together with Iftikhar. It is a blessing to be with the person you love. Happy Valentine's Day to all.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Welcome to America - and Good Bye!
It's been more than 6 years since I moved to California to pursue a PhD in Electrical Engineering. It's been a dream of mine to be one of the few Muslim women of Pakistani origin to obtain the highest education a person can get in a non-traditional field of study for women. Being a non-traditional kind of gal, it's the perfect pursuit for me. Exactly one month after I landed in San Francisco airport, the twin towers in New York fell and thousands of people were murdered at the hands of terrorists. At the time, I was so far removed from the events in New York that I could not even imagine what kind of impact it would have on my life. The first 4 years after 9/11 were perfectly worry free as I am a Canadian citizen and have been proudly Canadian for over 23 years. I have had no issues at airports or crossing international borders. I was completely oblivious to the many problems that most Muslims or Pakistani's face until recently.
My life changed significantly after I met my now husband, Iftikhar. Iftikhar is a beautiful person, inside and out. He is kind, gentle, caring, and always ready to help someone when they are in trouble. His gentleness stems from his love of nature. He is a horticulturist and landscape designer/artist. His specialty is Islamic Garden design and rehabilitation of the art that is beginning to die out. His approach to life is simple: live simply, humbly, enjoy every moment given to us by God, and be thankful for what you are given. I have never heard him complain about anything and he always bears any pain with a smile. He is neither a fanatic nor an extremist. He would have to have a liberal ideology to be married to someone so non-traditional such as myself! And he loves the fact that I'm doing a PhD in Electrical Engineering!
Iftikhar has supported me throughout the latter part of my studies and has never complained about how long it is taking me to finish. He knows PhD's are hard to come by, and at Berkeley, they are 10x harder than at other schools. Even my parents have often complained that it's about time I was done so I should hurry up. But Iftikhar is a patient person. He has been sticking it out in Kyiv, Ukraine where he patiently waits for my visits which happen every 4-6 months, depending on how busy I am during any one particular semester.
I felt the complete impact of 9/11 on my life soon after I got married in June 2006. Iftikhar applied for a visa at the USA Embassy in Islamabad so that he could join me in Berkeley just until I was done my studies. We were told by the counselor at the Embassy that Iftikhar was approved for his F-2 visa but his documents would need to be sent to Washington for a routine security clearance check. The counselor told us that it would take approximately 6-8 weeks. It has now been 17 months! And we are still waiting for the security clearance to complete. During this time, I have made 2 visits to Kyiv and Iftikhar and I have only spent 11 weeks together.
In early October, I solicited the help of Senator Dianne Feinstein to investigate the matter. I heard back from her office today and unfortunately, her office states that her office and the Department of State are unable to help us as the security clearance check is being carried out by "other agencies" which do not give a definite time line for completion of security clearances.
I now feel the true impact of 9/11. Whoever was responsible for these heinous acts did not consider the many ways that the entire world maybe affected by their sordid actions. I hope and pray that others who have been affected and are suffering for various reasons are given some reprieve by God. I cannot imagine how others may be suffering. As for myself and Iftikhar, I know we suffer greatly.
We are slowly incurring debts that we would not otherwise have had - the cost of travel is beyond what a graduate student salary can afford. We both go through cycles of depression due to the physical distance. We have not yet had a chance to enjoy the many benefits that a marriage can bring. I am often emotionally distressed and cry myself to sleep. These are the worst days. The emotional strain has affected both my health and Iftikhar's health. The emotional strain and stress has affected my PhD studies, adding one extra year to graduation.
Now I know that living in America is not so easy, even for a Canadian. The good news is that I am almost finished with the very long PhD. I am close to achieving my dream, even though it has been a tough journey. Still, I feel I am one of the lucky ones, because I am going back to my country, Canada. Some people do not even have that option. God willing, Iftikhar will be able to join me back home in Canada and I hope that we will live happily ever after, just like in a perfect fairy tale. Of course, America will miss out on the talent that both myself and Iftikhar have to offer but hey, too bad for the Americans, eh?
My life changed significantly after I met my now husband, Iftikhar. Iftikhar is a beautiful person, inside and out. He is kind, gentle, caring, and always ready to help someone when they are in trouble. His gentleness stems from his love of nature. He is a horticulturist and landscape designer/artist. His specialty is Islamic Garden design and rehabilitation of the art that is beginning to die out. His approach to life is simple: live simply, humbly, enjoy every moment given to us by God, and be thankful for what you are given. I have never heard him complain about anything and he always bears any pain with a smile. He is neither a fanatic nor an extremist. He would have to have a liberal ideology to be married to someone so non-traditional such as myself! And he loves the fact that I'm doing a PhD in Electrical Engineering!
Iftikhar has supported me throughout the latter part of my studies and has never complained about how long it is taking me to finish. He knows PhD's are hard to come by, and at Berkeley, they are 10x harder than at other schools. Even my parents have often complained that it's about time I was done so I should hurry up. But Iftikhar is a patient person. He has been sticking it out in Kyiv, Ukraine where he patiently waits for my visits which happen every 4-6 months, depending on how busy I am during any one particular semester.
I felt the complete impact of 9/11 on my life soon after I got married in June 2006. Iftikhar applied for a visa at the USA Embassy in Islamabad so that he could join me in Berkeley just until I was done my studies. We were told by the counselor at the Embassy that Iftikhar was approved for his F-2 visa but his documents would need to be sent to Washington for a routine security clearance check. The counselor told us that it would take approximately 6-8 weeks. It has now been 17 months! And we are still waiting for the security clearance to complete. During this time, I have made 2 visits to Kyiv and Iftikhar and I have only spent 11 weeks together.
In early October, I solicited the help of Senator Dianne Feinstein to investigate the matter. I heard back from her office today and unfortunately, her office states that her office and the Department of State are unable to help us as the security clearance check is being carried out by "other agencies" which do not give a definite time line for completion of security clearances.
I now feel the true impact of 9/11. Whoever was responsible for these heinous acts did not consider the many ways that the entire world maybe affected by their sordid actions. I hope and pray that others who have been affected and are suffering for various reasons are given some reprieve by God. I cannot imagine how others may be suffering. As for myself and Iftikhar, I know we suffer greatly.
We are slowly incurring debts that we would not otherwise have had - the cost of travel is beyond what a graduate student salary can afford. We both go through cycles of depression due to the physical distance. We have not yet had a chance to enjoy the many benefits that a marriage can bring. I am often emotionally distressed and cry myself to sleep. These are the worst days. The emotional strain has affected both my health and Iftikhar's health. The emotional strain and stress has affected my PhD studies, adding one extra year to graduation.
Now I know that living in America is not so easy, even for a Canadian. The good news is that I am almost finished with the very long PhD. I am close to achieving my dream, even though it has been a tough journey. Still, I feel I am one of the lucky ones, because I am going back to my country, Canada. Some people do not even have that option. God willing, Iftikhar will be able to join me back home in Canada and I hope that we will live happily ever after, just like in a perfect fairy tale. Of course, America will miss out on the talent that both myself and Iftikhar have to offer but hey, too bad for the Americans, eh?
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